RHOBH Episode 1 Recap

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year. RHOBH is back and I can tell this season will be nothing like the last.

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Let’s dive right in:

Lisa Vanderpump:

She may have a new dog, but LVP is the same bitch as always. She’s hanging onto a friendship with Dorit tighter than most of my Spanx. At her dinner with Kyle & Dorit, could they have eaten anywhere else other than Pump? Doesn’t that show get enough press?

Kyle Richards: 

Kyle has never looked better. Her hair and body are both on fleek which should come in handy cause it seems like her only story line this season is her new TV Land show. But, photos of her as a child bearing a stark resemblance to Boy George was quite possibly the funniest thing ever. But, let’s be real. Andy Warhol didn’t take any photos of you at Studio 54. If he did, WHERE ARE THEY?

Erika Jayne:

She is literally God’s gift to this earth. I love how she graciously accepts a $78,000 birthday present from her husband with a peck on the lips. If she is 45, then I am 72. If I look anything remotely like Erika Jayne when I’m 45, I will be a grateful human being.

Eileen Davidson: 

She has come such a long way. After her first season, I was sure she would be a Joyce Giraud type and fall off the face of the earth. But she has fought, and with a little help from Erika Jayne, she is slowly turning into one of my favorite housewives. Her gift to Erika of a role on Young & The Restless was so sweet.

Lisa Rinna:

If it wasn’t for Delilah Belle, I would be so over Lisa Rinna. I mean, I am so over Lisa Rinna but you know what I mean. That’s pretty much all I have to say. I predict a season of groveling and ass-kissing from Lisa Rinna to get back in the good graces of LVP. It should be a good one!

Dorit Kemsley:

SO. MANY. THOUGHTS. First of all, she considers herself a New Yorker but was born in Connecticut and lives in Beverly Hills? Seems like we’ve got a LuAnn de Lesseps situation on our hands. Secondly, she is an American born Israeli who speaks with a British + Long Island fused accent? I’m confused…

Thirdly, Boy George lives in her house? Can’t he afford his own place? She is essentially the Sonja Morgan of Beverly Hills. She has a swimwear line, is a mother, a businesswoman – what else? Was she partying on P. Diddy’s yacht?

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Last night was a great start to what will hopefully be a great season. Until next week…

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  1. Rachel Hill December 28, 2016 at 4:17 pm

    “She is essentially the Sonja Morgan of Beverly Hills” THIS LINE IS EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

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